Written by: Ms Candy
When it comes to interracial dating, lets be real. Black men are having their cake and eating it too. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the truth is that they are getting their swirl on while the sistas are staying loyal to the brothas. I’ll take a chance and say that men of color are probably the most open to dating outside of their race. Hey, who needs statistics?
Why do people choose to date outside of their race? Gail Laguna of interracialsingles.net believes people may choose to date interracially because they are attracted to the culture, values, or beliefs of another ethnic group and they want to be part of it. She also states that the number of individuals who consider themselves to be of mixed race continues to increase. These people may identify with others of different races. I say…so basically since Grandmama’s Grandpa was a Native American, Julie now considers herself mixed…I guess. While some people in society still look down on people who date outside of their race, according to Gail, interracial dating has become more accepted as the overall population of people who consider themselves of ‘mixed race’ continues to increase.
For black women, it seems like the pickings are slim, and its not going to get better. In fact, as we get older there are going to be fewer men to choose from due to factors such as marriage, prison, homosexuality, death, and let’s not forget the dreaded afraid-of-commitment-bachelor syndrome. It’s time for the ladies to start looking outside the box. Are you all going to sit back and be single because you will only date men who look like yourself? Tonya, a friend of mine from St. Louis, MO is an attractive 26 yr old who always complained about not being able to find a decent date. “Two years ago, I felt like all the good men were taken. I reluctantly began dating a man of another race and now we are currently engaged. It was so unexpected, but he’s great!”
If you are someone who has an interest in dating someone of another race, websites or groups specifically for those interested in interracial dating, like interracialsingles.net are terrific places to start. According to Gail Laguna, you already know the people there are interested in dating someone of another race. I’m not saying you should stop dating the brothas, but don’t pass up a good man over something as minute as race. It’s time to start looking for romance in places that you may not have normally considered an option…time to stop limiting yourself when it comes to love. You may just find Mr. Right in a place that you thought was oh so wrong.
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I never looked at it liked that. It’s go take time for me to think about dating outside of my race because I'm an old fashion girl lol.
ReplyDeleteNicole, just try to be open minded. You may be pleasantly surprised!
ReplyDeleteWell you asked for my opinion, Candy so I guess I'll gladly give.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I totally agree with you. Race should be one of the last things considered when picking a partner...if considered at all. As soon as we as a species accept the fact that we're all human and are only different shades of the same color, we can finally start getting along.
I'm sure you've heard me say to you time and time again that I myself claim no race but am easily identified as a black male. You know that I don't speak or behave as a typical man of that ethnic group but still technically that to the naked eye. But it has been my experience that almost every black female expressing even the faintest detectable amount of attraction to me openly harps on how much better I would be if I were "hood" Something I'm just simply not.
Well you hear that you're not good enough as you are a certain amount of times and you begin to search elsewhere for a more accepting brand of female.
I'm not suggesting that all black females regurgitate that close-minded and ignorant bile of a sentiment but I'm skeptical that the majority could venture outside of even the image of what a "modern black man" is "supposed" to be. Even if they did engage in interracial relationships, they would be more inclined to date men who may not be of the same race but still behave the same way, thusly not having made a change at all.
Well I guess my opinion has very little validity since I rarely interact with black females and can hardly claim to have any knowledge outside of my own personal experience. Having been intimately involved with only one black female, I doubt I've gathered enough data to form any accurate conclusions on what might work for them and what may not.
@Anon 6:10 I appreciate your opinion & I do hear you. The whole point of this article is to make women of color think about the possibilities. Consider someone who they may not have thought twice about. And please believe that you are definitely missing out by rarely interacting with us. We are so so diverse. The variety is unlike any other race & cannot be matched! Talk about an adventure.
ReplyDeleteNow don't get me wrong, I do think you have a point when you suggest that it would be hard for a large portion of black females to look outside the box due to our/their favorable view of black men. This is a reality because as I mentioned in the article above, we are VERY loyal, even ride or die. I don't know too many black men who would see that as a bad thing...but oh yeah...I forgot you don't see yourself as a black man.
*speechless*
ReplyDeleteI agree! Speechless. I also agree that women of color should stop limiting themselves to certain types of men. I have never thought about dating outside of my race, but I can't say that I won't. When the right man comes along (black, blue purple or yellow), I just hope that we share the same values/morals and can accept each other's similarities and differences.
ReplyDelete